Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Summertime Disengagement

 

As the weather gets warmer, it seems pertinent to procure the necessities with which to make the next few months iving as a shut-in more enjoyable. There is a rush to stock up on bags of chips, soup and hotdogs (don't forget the mustard, yo). Praise be given to whatever company decided to morph Hershey's chocolate bars into little bite sized... well, bites. Those things are ah-mazing.

Despite the fact that school let out approximately two weeks ago, I have only just begun to settle into a that perfect rhythm of eating, sleeping, slouching on the sofa staring off into nothing contemplating the rumble in my stomach prompting me to eat thus restarting the cycle.

Yeah.

Two weeks ago, I had goals. The fact that the goals were never more than sleeping through the day means nothing. It is having goals and achieving them that counts. Actually... If you look at it closely and from a different angle also from atop an extremely tall building, you can see that my goals have not changed much.

I seem to have built a consistency worthy of all those chickens that continue to cross roads.


The world may never know why the chickens and I do what we do nor will the world ever consider our goals worthy of pursuit. However, our determination to stick with doing what we do MUST be admired. It should be admired. Well, at least a little bit, you admiration stingy people.

Yeah. I should get a job.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Curtsey for Me

"Say kids, what time is it?"

"It's time to blow my brain out." 

"It's Howdy Doody time!"

"Arg!"

She stood, hands to her sides frowning at the television. The light danced on her face. It made her seem blue. The skin around her eyes was dark. She picked up the beaten remote and tried flicking through channels. She couldn't - a battery was missing. 

Friday, 8 March 2013

Stir Crazy

The sofa was worn. In a style that could only be described as vintage and as faded a pink as clothing washed by a person who clearly does not understand the usage of bleach, the sofa definitely had a long life. It was worn and old. Large safety pins held the casings of the cushions closed and there were many scratches on the now dull polish. From drink spills to throw up, the sofa had seen much. It was worn, old and had experienced everything there was to experience - as far as sofas go.

But this was new.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Things to do on Family Day

Tomorrow is Family Day. It is a holiday and, boy, am I looking forward to sleeping in. I do not know the purpose of this holiday - I am too lazy to look it up - but using my super skills of deduction, I discern that Family Day is for the celebration of... cats.

What? You don't think so?

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Love and the Ever-Changing Universe



It is Valentine's Day. Well, actually it will be almost not Valentine's Day anymore by the time I am ready to post this. Remember, I am a master procrastinator. It's Valentine's Day and what a surprise I came up with some depressing nonsense to dampen everyone's spirit - those whose spirits are not dampened by this day already, that is.
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